Wednesday 15 October 2014

A funny kind of sad

I've been feeling:BLUE
DOWNRIGHT DEPRESSED
LIKE I'M A DOT
IN A SEA OF LETTERS
SO INSIGNIFICANT


I've been feeling like
EVERYONE'S MAD
I'M SANE
THEY'RE INSANE


I've been feeling
ODDLY TEARFUL

I was talking to a colleague today
Felt a sniffle coming on.
PMS was over days ago


I've been feeling strangely overwhelmed
and it's not the work
No, just overwhelmed with thoughts of despair
and something else
A funny kind of sad


Not the sadness
of being wronged by another
This is a funny kind of sad
It's sadness at lost optimism
Sadness at not being able to find the optimism

I'm sad because I can't shake it off
I try,but this saddness is funny
It's hard to completely shake off
It's just lurking


This sadness is about loss of idealism
Loss of energy to keep the ideals
No longer feeling that I can keep up this struggle
Sad for the reduced number of fighters
As others go their sad way into ego, money, bling...


Sad at what little control we have over our destiny
Sad at my sisters and brothers
Especially the young ones
For knowing they might never be in control
And a rational part of me knows that this is not quite true.
But the despair will not let me see through.


I told you, this is a funny kind of sad

A funny sadness
I know it can't last forever,
But for now
I'm just in this
funny
sad
place

DOWN